why do we.....

just wondering why we exclude people........ how do I say this .... it is sad that we have so much technology and we cant even talk to each other..... matter of fact this blog will prob never be read by anyone..... but here goes .... for over 30 yr I have had no friends .... a life full of aquaintence's .... those who only get so close..... but never cross the line of truly caring and being there for another..... I have gone thru a divorce and the death of many family members most recently my grand mother(2011) my mother(2012)and my dad(2014) ..... with my dad sitting there day after day for 5 months with no phone calls.. no emails ..no one stopping in to check on me...no meals brought to us .... sad as I was in a church that claimed to be caring for one another.... seems you have to be a special some one to get all that..... now this does not just pertane to me..... my mom had what she thought was a best friend... they did lots together shopping... rummage sales... church functions....prayed together often..... ect..... but it seemed once my mom no longer could be as mobile (she had her right foot amputated) as her "friend" .....the friend stopped calling and being there for her with in a yrs time ...... once my parents moved outta there home and into a apt people seemed to stop coming by ...like they did at the house..... my parents had an open door policy ... if your in the neighbor stop by...... after mom passed I asked other men to stop in and just visit with dad the one fella took it as just invited dad out to the men's breakfast..... the words were 'hey could you stop in once a week and have coffee with dad and visit him he is lonely " .... are the ears of others turned off top the truth of reaching out to other ....what they say does not register....or are we on our own agenda only ... and we hear only what we want to hear... ... are we really that scared of our humanness ...our changes in life.... if we don't see them we don't have to deal with reality ..we don't want to deal with the decay of our bodies ...are we a society of disposable people we move on when one does not work they way they used too...... do we have to be so mean to let other deal with pain and sadness by them selves ..... yes I had other family members around...... but not one friend......and there are times when you need a friend over family.... as family are in the thick of things with you and you need the insight of those out side the circle of events.... I have tried reaching out helping others ... bringing meals ... inviting other women out for coffee or lunch...tried getting involved with things at church only to be told I was not needed ... and have heard every excuse in the book.... busy week.... to many mtg this week ... we only have one car.... or even better at the funeral they say I thought about coming to see you at the hospital or funeral home..... but they don't do those places..... I had one woman tell me that God brought me to mind on Wednesday and she thought about calling me ..... but she waited to Sunday to ask me how I was doing...... that was helpful....not funnier still is how one can be picked over the other..... in the same house hold ... I don't know if it is because my secret of no friends got out or if they truly like my hubby better that I ....but hubby recently had a surgery that he was not able to attened church for a couple months.... now mind you we live 30 min from most of these people..... but they found the time to come minister to him..... we had 2 couples bring us meals ..... amazing how he gets attention for physical pail and I am left to deal with emotional pain by my self..... is not pain .....pain.... it hurts no matter what..... why do we teach our children to play nice and share with others just to grow up and have clicks and outcast people because they make us uncomfortable or they are not like us or they don't fit in .......HELLO GOD MADE US DIFFERENT FOR A REASON...... we were not made to be robot but to server him ......we can't all be hands some have to be the feet.. the voice... the eyes.... the elbows ... the knee's.... the toes.... ect.... I will be the first to say people fail.... I know I have failed..... I am prob the worst .... but I try to reach out I try to connect with others..... all to no aveil..... I can say God has always been there in my darkest hour's my saddest momments his word has comforted me ...it has lifted me ....and soothed me so many times .... God is my rock the one I lean on the most ...... I feel like I live in the reality of death but God is always there walking beside me ... I see his hand at work all over and wonder some time ....... why did you make me ....why don't I fit in ......what is my purpose .... just to raise my kids and then what......the last 2 in the house are just yrs from leaving ..... then what.... but I know I have God he has some thing for me..... I have seen his hand so gracefully usher my parents in to heaven I was there when they breathed there last with a smile on there face.... he was so faithful to them and to me ..... these are just my thought and feelings I know it really matters to no one..... but just needed to get them outta my head so that maybe I can move on in some way....... God is good all the time all the time God is good

5-12-2015

woot woot I have 3 followers what a day ....lol